Fellowship With Wilderness

rock music and dogs. i like both of these things. i think i'm going to write this post in this emo high school way where i don't capitalize anything. it's easy and it lets me get the point across about these things that i like.
rock. not many of my roommates like rock. they are more into alternative and acoustic and women. well i really liked rock in high school and then in college not as many people were here to feed my interest so they kind of dropped off my radar. groups like foo fighters and the killers and queens of the stone age and coheed and cambria and jimmy eat world and shinedown. well i like them and they remind me of fall and so when my genius music on itunes offered me a chance to listen to rock mix 2 i gladly accepted. thank you itunes for bringing it back into my life.
what does that say about me that i like rock. groups even like papa roach and gasp nine inch nails. i don't know but i'm going to bring that back into my life. if any one ever follows my blog- which i think is not a one- then are there any rock bands or new songs i should catch up on from the last few years. i should ask my brothers. they will hook me up.

dogs. i have not ever been much of a dog person you can ask patty my mom. she loves them but i usually shy away from our families dogs because well i think they kind of smell and really i just like to keep my hands clean. well the family i babysit for got a labradoodle about a month and a half ago and let me tell you i love playing with her. her name is addison but they call her addie for short and she's so fun and doesn't shed and i love playing with her. and she does not smell. well she almost has this sweet dog smell to her.
for a while i was worried about my future of not liking dogs. do not most people like dogs and want them as pets. well i'm relieved to say that i do like them and do not mind when they lick me. which let me say is a big thing.

well now i'm relieved. i brought rock back into my life or maybe the holy spirit did which would beg a bigger and much deeper question of what rock will bring me in life. but back to my relief of liking things. i like dogs too now so i think i will rest a little easier tonight. that is probably not true but needless to say i am excited for the next time i see addison jane byus.

Oh yes- it's time to come back and gather my thoughts. Some spiritual and some down to earth and some funny (if only to me). I like putting my thoughts together like this and find that blogging is something that I have come to enjoy.

So this weekend I went to the BYX Formal in Gatlinburg, TN which was a blast! Thank you Chris Laney; my date. He was the best date I've ever had and I really had a fun time! And I think I realized a few things about myself- about the way I act in different settings around people I haven't met before, people I have but don't know well and those goofy people that I always have a good time with because I know they like me for me.

I realized that I have to be myself in all facets of life because that consistency makes me someone that's easier to relate to and a "safe" person- my behavior is pretty much the same in most scenarios. My roommates and close friends may be able to say that there are some exceptions to this rule but I want my life to be consistent.
Well I realized that is much harder to say and do. For instance, how I treat people I like and people I just don't get along with. Where does the consistency meet the pavement and the selfishness hit the road?

I don't know but I know that this weekend was the most nature I've seen in a while. And to relate back to the title of my post- the views of the Smoky Mountains were just breathtaking and the streams of running water that we drove along for some of the trip just was amazing to behold. In my class I'm learning about evolution and after my "fellowship with wilderness" this weekend how can you not believe in some greater being that organized this planet? I don't know but I know that the forests I saw made me realize that gasp Tennessee isn't full of backwood hillbillies that only like UT football because they don't know any better. I still hold the last clause to be true but with the views I saw this weekend I don't blame those backwoods hillbillies for staying away from the smog of city life for a chance at a view like theirs.

So today as I was walking to class I realized that I love my job of class checking student athletes. Now the reason I love it is because some of the athletes that I've checked in semesters past remember me and recognize me. So this morning I saw one former student I checked and he remembered me and spoke to me and asked me how I was doing and he is a pretty cool big player here at school and it made me feel real good. Actually it made me feel real cool- oh yeah I think I did a little dance around afterwards haha- typical.
And I think that sometimes I feel like that with the Lord. I'm like ahh you remember me? It makes me feel so special and honored. And I don't know- sometimes I think I have this false humility that makes me think- oh please I know the Lord knows I'm here but seriously- to be called out by the Lord is special and honoring and it makes me feel... well... like a big shot.

So my life is just life right now. I'm going to class and hanging out with friends and cleaning my room constantly yet beneath that is a relationship with the Lord. And it's crazy that I have a relationship with the Lord- that I am here living this life in Athens right now and just trying to appreciate all that I have been given. One thing I have been given is being blessed to travel a lot. And I must say that I really love it. Traveling is great and three weeks ago I went to Valdosta and last weekend I went to the UT UGA game- terrible game but I got to see another SEC school. And this weekend was the Wesley fall retreat and next weekend I'm going to Gatlinburg and then after that I'm going to St. Simons for GA/FL. So traveling is fun and the best part is that most of these trips are relatively low cost. Thank you for that Lord. So in my trips I can say that yes. The Lord provides.

And on a lighter note I wrote my grandmother a letter about two weeks ago just saying that I'd enjoyed seeing her last weekend when I was down in Homerville for my grandfathers's funeral. Well that's not really lighter but wait- so my Mom talked to my grandmother and my grandmother told her that I wrote her a letter and she said she really enjoyed it and was so thankful for it. My mother then believed that my grandmother had really lost it because she thought that I would not have done something like that. She had to call me later that day to confirm that I had in fact written my grandmother a letter. Thanks for the confidence Mom.

So is this my life right now? Cause I'm not studying for my two midterms tomorrow and I'm just blogging- my new favorite obsession I think. And I'm just waiting around for something to happen. I feel like that is something that I need to get out of my head and carpe diem or something- but alas I'm just thinking about roommate dinner at 5:30 and then studying for midterms and how I got eaten alive by mosquitoes today...

What had happened was- a girl used my chapstick today which I don't really like when people do that but I let her use it and then I decided to lop off the chunk which she touched. But then in the computer lab I had a chunk of Blistex raspberry lemonade blast on my finger which I then proceeded to slather all over my legs. Well let me tell you- when I was outside for discipleship with my girls the mosquitoes had a field day and were very attracted to the raspberry lemonade blast... thank you blistex for making a lip protectant/sunscreen even the mosquitoes like

I've been learning about the sovereignty of God lately. My uncle died about 3 weeks ago and my grandfather died two weeks ago so if God is sovereign- which he is- then I'm still trying to piece together what that means but I think it means that he is in control of everything.

"The Lord brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up. The Lord sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and exalts." 1 Samuel 2:6-7

Well here it says the Lord is in control. And he can harden hearts too- like he did to Pharaoh with Moses. Yet we can also make decisions in our lifetime that influence us and our lives and what becomes of our lives? Is that a relfection of how God has chosen for us to live? Or have we chosen? I mean my whole belief is based off of free will- that's how I chose to love the Lord and accept Christ. But what does that mean for people like Pharaoh?

In Isaiah it says:

"Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving. Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed." Isaiah 6: 9-10

So who chose for them?

Right now I can say that the Lord has blessed me with singleness all my life- because if it was my will I would have been in a relationship by now I'm pretty sure but the Lord has protected me and I know that he had sovereignty in that. And watching my roommates go through break-ups make me realize it that much more.

Until next week...