Fellowship With Wilderness

I recently realized that as of December 15th I have been praying for my future husband for a year. That is pretty cool. To be able to look back and say that the Lord has been prompting me to do that. He didn't forget about me and didn't find my prayers for my husband trivial, but instead prompted me to pray for him. Sometimes looking at the world from my view in America it seems like so many other people are so much worse off. And then in my reasoning the Lord should tend to them more. But there's enough of Him to go around.

In the parable of the prodigal son I always identified with the oldest son; the one that doesn't run away and stays diligently behind working with his father. Most pastors tell the story of the son that came back, but what about the oldest son that is so mad, I'd always wondered. Well once I heard a pastor talk about him. He said that by the prodigal son getting the fattened calf and the celebration, it still didn't take any away from the oldest son. And for the purposes of the kingdom of God, we all can take purpose in the kingdom and there is plenty of it to go around and same with the Lord. There's plenty of Him.


The Misty Edwards song that goes "Here I am your favorite one," always bothered me because there are so many people that it didn't make sense. Why do so many people get ot be his favorite. In my view of the world I only have one favorite food or favorite movie... but that's in my mind view of time and space- my very limited view. Instead, there's so much of the Lord, an infinite amount. So I can be His favorite and so can you because He's enough.

So in my prayers for my future husband, the Lord knows what's important to me and is there always all of Him.


Thank you for that Lord. For making me care about things and caring to see them through.

I read that book in 1 day this past summer while I was babysitting Drew. Randy Pausch spoke of his life, his achievements and the way he lived that allowed him to give this lecture with no regrets. In thinking about my future, I have thought about the things he has said about his life and the things he did. One thing that sticks out in my mind was that as an uncle, he took his nephew and niece out in his brand new car. Their mother, his sister, warned the children to be careful to not spill anything in their uncle's new car. Randy however, quickly disagreed with her and proceeded to pour a whole can of coke in his backseat to prove to the kids that it was just a car and it didn't matter. Well he was glad he had done that because later that weekend his nephew threw up all over the backseat. Because Randy had shown them that the kids meant more to him than the car, his nephew did not feel bad about throwing up. I want to live a life where things of this earth are just things. And I know that my greatest reward is in heaven. I don't want love of money to rule my life ever. And I want to be able to always be reminded, even in a brand new car, that it is still just a car and not to be treasured over something as long lasting as relationships. Because people are eternal; no matter where they are after they die they will either be in heaven or hell. And that is what matters most. I want the relationships to be what I can show the Lord when He asks me what I did on earth. Not the clean backseat I kept. 

That's a hard statement- but I know the Lord and I know that as I get more of His heart and character all the time that this is it. The things of this world are fleeting.